|
so sleep alone tonight
Hello there, I'm a 14-year-old male student and web designer who resides in super sunny Singapore.I like tissue paper but I'm not a fan of sausages. I walk around Orchard Road every weekend in my snowman costume. I've figured that I already lost my sanity a long time ago. And so, blah blah blah. It goes on. Your profile here. I hope you have something to write. Do take note of the height constraint of this section! |
|
|
about this blog
This blog was opened by (your name here) to accomodate (your name here)'s mindless musings and daily rantings.Do enjoy your stay here, and don't take what's not yours! tagboard
Your tagboard here, preferably a skinny one with a width of not more than 138px.
affiliates
friend
friend
friend
friend
archives
credits
Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
If Only They Understood...
I swear, if i could be invisble i will be, until i finish my O'Levels. And, today, on 08.08.07, Wednesday, is the most embarassing moment of my entire secondary school life. I'M NOT KIDDING!! And, if i could tell my parents off how i felt during the pledge-taking i will. But, sorry to inform myself, MY PARENTS IS NOTHING LIKE HOW I IMAGINE THEM TO BE. I thought they would understand, but no they didn't. Then who understood me, my form-teacher and my clsoe friends. I know i cocked things up and i know it's my fault, but is it that difficult to ask for support from my own parents? Was what i did such a big thing? Everybody makes mistakes and i know this one is an unforgettable one. If my parents think what i did embarassed them, then how do they think i'm feeling? The one who made the mistake, the one who could never face the whole school plus some VIPS just to lead them to say the pledge? No, leading the pledge is NEVER EASY! No wonder NDP recorded the pledge, so we could just lip-sync it. To ensure that, nobody cock things up. Ma, if you think it's so bloody simple and easy to say it in front of maybe 1000+ students, why don't you do it Ma? Why can't you atleast support me and say some good stuffs, instead of demoralising me. And, maybe now, i could never face you again as a daughter, cause i've never make you proud. I can never be the daughter that you wanted me to be, see, i told you. I can never that daughter. Like you said, I'M A FAILURE and i will never achieve what i want in the near future. WOW, MA! You made such a wonderful and amazing speech that it still am in my head. It's already been saved in my head and i don't think i can delete it away. Ma, am i that bad? Am i such a loser that you're too ashamed to tell people i'm your daughter now? Pa, do you really understand me? Do you really actually know how i felt and what i was thinking when i did the pledge? Did you, my parents know, how much i told myself to do the very best, don't mess things up so that i can make you guys proud? Did you know how scared, nervous and worried i was? Did you guys actually noticed that? Maybe, it's true. I am a LOSER, FAILURE, what else Ma? No, nobody understood how i felt. And, you guys thought i was asking for sympathy? Uh? All i need is some support and encouragement from both of you. Did you all know that? And i thought i would get some love when you guys reached home, but no. All i got was words of demoralising oneslf. Well, yeah. I don't belong to this family. I only bring shame to the Abu Jalal family. Sorry Ma and Pa. I should have just got knocked down by the car, then die and like Ma said. ROT IN HELL. So you won't be ashame anymore. What should i do, to make both of you have faith in me again? Huh Ma, Pa? Tell me. Sometimes, i feel like i'm loved by everyone, then one second later, I just wanna migrate, or maybe be insvisble for the rest of my life. And no, it wasn't a mistake, it was a VERY BIG one! I'll just have to buy a mask and wear it on Monday. |