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so sleep alone tonight
Hello there, I'm a 14-year-old male student and web designer who resides in super sunny Singapore.I like tissue paper but I'm not a fan of sausages. I walk around Orchard Road every weekend in my snowman costume. I've figured that I already lost my sanity a long time ago. And so, blah blah blah. It goes on. Your profile here. I hope you have something to write. Do take note of the height constraint of this section! |
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about this blog
This blog was opened by (your name here) to accomodate (your name here)'s mindless musings and daily rantings.Do enjoy your stay here, and don't take what's not yours! tagboard
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Design: doughnutcrazyIcon: morphine_kissed Do credit accordingly if you changed the icon. |
14 days left, 2 more weeks.... I'm getting more nervous. As the number of days start to decrease, the faster my heart beats.... It makes me more nervous whenever my mum mentions about it. Yesterday, on the way to have our dinner, my mum wasn't in a good mood, so everybody got scolded. That's usual. I'll just type out my mum's conversation here [conversation will be in malay] Mum: Iffa ni pon satu tak tau takut, n'levels nyer results da nak keluar... (Iffa aren't you scared, n'levels results is getting near..) Me: -kept quiet- Mum: Kalau kau tak masuk Sec.5, jgn mimpi nak masuk ITE!!! Jadik maid kat rumah atau kahwin lagik bagus, FAHAM TAK??!!! (If you don't get to sec.5, don't imagine getting into ITE!!! Might as well be a maid or get married, understand??!!!) Me: -still quiet, but crying- This is why i hate her, i hate her for not trying to give me support. I hate her when she says those words. I hate her when she tries to pull my hopes down. I feel hopeless with such words!!! It's already bad enough that i have so little faith in myself and she's making me feel like as if i'm a complete failure. Don't she knows how i feel with such harsh words? If she thinks she scared, i'm more scared!!!! Nobody can feel how i'm feeling right now, how worried i am about this, does she know? I DOUBT SO!!!! I'm the one carrying that burden, i'm the one who sat for that exam not HER!!!! Even if she felt ashamed of my results, it won't be that bad, cause she didn't sat for it, I WAS THE ONE WHO SAT FOR IT, ME!!!!! I'LL BE MORE ASHAME & DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF!!!!! I might be smiling but nobody can read what is there in my heart, nobody knows how am i living my life for the past three months.... Does she know i'm hurt with such words, won't you feel hurt if your mother said that to you? Can't she ever try to stop and see the actual me, can she? I can never imagine how her reaction will be if i did so badly in N'Levels, what more MY reactions!!! I'm scared, really i am... I can't imagine what i will do to myself if i get such bad results.... Ma, if you ever read this, i'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but i'm just letting out what i'm feeling inside, cause i can't let it out to anybody else. I can't tell you cause those can't simply get out of my mouth, it's too difficult. I hope you understand, i never meant to hurt you with such words, it is just a way to let out my feelings. Ma, i'm scared, more scared than you are. More scared Ma, more scared..... |